The Call

A little over an hour ago I was informed that the heart I have been waiting over 3 years for has finally been found. Dreams do come true and prayers do work. I hope to be up and blogging more info with a new heart very soon.
Be good to each other,
JJ

And you thought the dentist sucked

As I sit here in my hospital bed for the 8th day in a row and the 17th of the last 20 days I dream of being in the dentist chair having a root canal. It would be so much nicer than the interminable minutes spent in this bed working desperately hard to make it seem OK. Each morning I wake up and feel a little worse than the previous morning. I spend the first 40 minutes or so trying to mentally prepare myself for the 12 to 14 hours that follow. I need to convince myself that sitting in this bed and possibly walking a few laps of the ward will be less tiring , more comfortable or somehow more exciting than it was yesterday. I am trapped in a failing body and have to try to quell the urge to rip out the tubes or just try to sleep the time away. At times it seems that there is nothing outside of my room and the clicking of the machine that pumps my medication in and the alarms of the machines that monitor me. The cocktail is becoming too potent and my 40 minutes begins to stretch into hours. The process is beginning to remind me of one of my favorite Metallica songs. It is about a war veteran who suffers in silence within his own mind as he lays in a hospital bed with no way to communicate his suffering or horror of feeling trapped. I am not quite that bad but the image does enter my head.
As I write this and the medications start to take effect, my mood calms and I can see light at the end of the tunnel again. Hope springs eternal so never give up!
Be good to each other,
JJ